While I'm officially out of my community, I'm still in Albania for a week. I stayed in Tirana, the capital, for two nights to hang out and meet Garrett's brother, now I'm in Durres, the second largest city in Albania. On my way from Tirana to Durres yesterday I caught a furgon and the driver turned around and said "where are you from," typical reaction for any Albanian that speaks a little English and is curious about your nationality. I told him I was from America but had been living in Bajram Curri for the past two years.. in Albanian. He gave me this look of shock and I just knew it was because I just said I had been living in the "worst place in Albania." I was pleasantly surprised when he told me that he was actually from Bajram Curri and he quickly whipped out his license to prove that he was from a small village from Tropoje.
We chatted a little about Bajram Curri and he asked me if I knew the mayor because he was from the same village that he was from and I told him of course I did! He was just so impressed that I had lived there for two years and knew the mayor. Our conversation quickly faded once the van started to fill up and I put my headphones in. I began to think about the fact that I did know the mayor of this tiny town in the middle of the mountains in Northern Albania and that no one else would from here on out in my life. Somewhere that I spent two years of my life, invested my time, energy and every aspect of my life into had been quickly left behind on Monday morning as I pulled out on a furgon for the last time.Thinking about going back to America is so overwhelming that I do as little thinking about it as I possibly can. I was talking to an American Peace Corps staff member who had served as a PCV in Kyrgastan and he referenced a Chuck Klosterman book in saying: "It's like that entire season of Saved by the Bell where Jessie Spanno just kind of disappeared and is replaced by a hot biker chick that dates Slater. Kelly, Lisa or Zack don't question Jessie's disappearance and just went on to their day to day routines. Suddenly, the next season, Jessie pops back up and no one even asks her where she was." He said, that's what it's like going back to America. Everyone knows that you've been gone for two years and that you've been in the Peace Corps but when you return home it's like you never left. This theory has been proven when I talk to other Volunteers who are already home and peoples response to them being home is "good, let's go get dinner" and during that dinner act like you've never left.
This to me is the most intimidating thing to think about when I go home. To begin to reconnect with people and trying to readjust and for them life is pretty much the same but I'm coming off a life changing two year roller coaster. I'll now have a language in my head that no one will be able to understand, references to people that won't make any sense.. and the last thing you want to be is that "girl that was in the Peace Corps and all she ever does is talk about Albania all the time." RPCVs say that you have to be able to explain your two year experience in 2-3 sentences for people to even be slightly interested and not go dead behind the eyes.
We also had a coffee with a PCVs Albanian friends today and when I told them I had lived in Bajram Curri for two years they laughed and told me that I was unlucky to go there compared to other places in Albania. It also made me realize that I was going to have to defend my experience, whether people know about the bad reputation of the town or not; that I actually felt safer living there alone than I did in the states. I think this two week trip around the Balkans before I go home was a smart decision because it will allow me to process the fact that I probably won't go back to Bajram Curri, at least not anytime soon.
